5 Tips to Love Your Teen Well
When I was I young dad, I felt like I had no idea what I was doing. I started reading some recommended books and receive wise counsel to help me along the way. I felt like I needed a better blueprint or framework on how to parent and love my kids well. Often, as I’m counseling parents of teens here in Charlotte, NC., I often hear, “I have no idea what I’m doing”, “I didn’t have good role models as parents”, “Where do I even start”. One framework I like to stick to is from book “The Blessing”. Gary Smalley and John Trent, outline an uncomplicated framework for blessing and loving your children, which involves five key elements:
Meaningful Touch: Physical touch communicates warmth, acceptance, and love. Simple gestures like hugs, kisses, or a pat on the back can convey a blessing's significance.
A Spoken Message: Verbal affirmation is crucial. Clearly express your love and high value for your child through encouraging words and positive declarations about their worth and future.
Attaching High Value: Make sure your child understands their unique and intrinsic value. Use words that highlight their strengths, character, and potential. Emphasize their special qualities and the contributions they make.
Picturing a Special Future: Give your child a vision of a hopeful and successful future. Share your confidence in their ability to achieve great things and your belief in their potential to fulfill their dreams and goals.
An Active Commitment: Show your ongoing support through actions. Be involved in your child's life, offer help and resources when needed, and consistently demonstrate your commitment to their well-being and growth.
These elements combine to create an environment where children feel valued, loved, and secure, which is essential for their emotional and spiritual development. If you find it hard to implement one of these tasks, reflect a little bit. Maybe you feel you never received this kind of love or blessing and it’s hard for you to pass it on. Maybe it’s uncomfortable for you? It may help to talk it out with a counselor or pick up the book and see if theirs some personal growth you can do. It will be so worth it when you see your teen feeling valued, loved and secured, knowing they have your love and blessing.
Josh Burnett is an individual and couples counselor in Charlotte, NC. He has helped many couples, men and women connect with their faith, values, self and others. His big-heart, depth of understanding, and ability to relate, help his clients feel comfortable to share the hard stuff, heal, and grow.